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18 Movie Reviews


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Eminem Rocks!

I don't really know what to say about this one... It was just too stupid. That character did not look like Em, did not sound like Em, and worst of all certainly did not act like Em. In fact, if his name hadn't been in the title, I'd never even have guessed it who it was meant to be... and would probably have found the clip mildly amusing (I must admit, I thought the army guy was pretty funny, but Eminem was so ridiculously out of character that it tarred the whole movie.) This clip would have worked if it had used someone from one of those shitty boy bands, but Em... No way!

Dead Poets Society!

Well, the animation isn't exactly the best, but I kind of liked its home-made, rustic quality. (And realistic animation isn't *always* the bench-mark for success... anyone who's ever seen South Park can tell you that.) The actual movie is bloody funny, the voices are done well, and it even has a story-line (an unknown concept to many Portal entries)... what more could you ask? Keep 'em coming!

Fat Chance!

When I saw the title of this piece, I thought it was going to suck because it was artsy and pretentious. It didn't. It sucked because it was poorly animated, pointless and un-funny. It's movies like this that give a bad name to the rainbow fill. I also have a hunch that the text at the beginning was probably cribbed from somewhere. The only typo was in the title, where it said "stange" (presumably meaning "strange")This may be jumping to conclusions, but it is my experience that no-one who makes this bad a Flash movie can be as literate as the writer of that text appeared to be. Maybe I am mistaken... one can only hope!

Anti-Christmas!

A vicious, violent and vitriolic attack on the traditional "Christmas cheer"... Just what I like to see! Takes me back to my school-days, when many a fun-filled Xmas was spent altering Xmas cards so that Jesus was wearing S&M gear and throwing mutilated dolls heads into neighbors' nativity scenes! I loved the creepy sound effects on this piece, and found the whole thing strangely amusing. Excellent work - Keep it up!

Here we go again!

Yet another sanctimonious text message directed at "bad" Flash-makers. I really wouldn't waste your time on it. So why the 5 for humor, I hear you cry? Well, it never fails to amuse me that the very "movies" made to criticize poor quality portal submissions are generally the poorest of them all. It's stunning to think that someone who appears so concerned with "quality" can fail to spot the simplest of errors in their own work... unless I'm mistaken, and "lossing" really IS a word?! I would apologize for the harsh review, but hey, you only get what you give.

Same old song and dance...

Is it just me, or are these "I'm making a crappy movie to moan about crappy movies" submissions getting just a litle tedious? Of course, there are some of these entries which utilise great skills and ideas in making their ironic statements... but this is certainly not one of them. The wailing music created an atmosphere akin to that of a bad 1960s war flick, and the moralising text was more than I could bear! Admittedly I have seen some bad Portal submissions, but if you eliminate all the ones which were simply created to mock other submissions, you sure reduce their numbers.

Catch 22

Weird, shocking, brilliant...
Loved this clip. Although by no means the most violent I've seen, there was something strangely disturbing about this movie. Maybe because it rang so true, or maybe because it was also so darn funny. I can see why it's attracted some bad reviews, though, since the author seems to have got himself stuck in an unfortunate Catch 22 situation. Those who've never played a video-game for 8 hours solid, only to experience the death of their character, probably won't relate to it... and many of those who have will be unlikely to view it objectively and see the humor (as well as the truth) in this piece.

Wow!

This movie is one of my personal favorites. The South Park voices and graphics are fantastic and blend marvellously with the Clockwork Orange story-line. The fight scene is splendidly orchestrated and carried out with humour and style. The clip loses a little impact by the imbalance of sound, which means that the voices are, on occasion, barely audible over the music (particularly noticable during the especially loud piece of Rossini). I also found it hard to work out whether the rather impromptu ending and loop were intentional features or merely accidental slips on the part of the creator. But aside from those minor defects, this is an amazing movie, destined to enthral South Park and Clockwork Orange fans alike.

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