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All 6 game Reviews


Assassin: Eminem Assassin: Eminem

Rated 1 / 5 stars

The Twisted Fantasies of a NG Reviewer!

This game never let me do the stuff I wanted to... I tried choosing the small gun cuz I wanted him to beat me, but the game wouldn't let me. Anyway, I just let it skip to the fight bit (well, I'd never want to see Marshall die!) and that was kinda cool but could have been better if you got to see your own blood and stuff (yeah, I know that's not exactly the point of Assassin missions, but there's something incredibly exciting about getting beaten to death by Slim Shady! It definitely needs screams and stuff added to complete the effect!) Oh well, I'll still have to give this one a 10 for sound! (Still debating over graphics... on the plus side it had Em's picture, but on the minus it wasn't one of his best pictures! Think I'll compromise and give it a 5) Now I've had my fun dying, I'm off to regain my reputation as a deadly assassin... Britney Spears had better watch out!



Escape From Work!! Escape From Work!!

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Easy... but fun.

Quite a fun game, with good interactivity. Easy to beat on the first go by picking the most sensible options, but still worth playing a couple of times to check out the other possibilities. (For some reason I expected the guy to get butt-fucked if he chose the 'go to the mountains' option, but instead he died, so that was a nice surprise!) Music gets annoying after a while, and angular graphics make all the characters look severely retarded. But defects aside, this game's certainly worth a look-in.



Destroy the School (Demo) Destroy the School (Demo)

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Definite Potential.

A rather engaging game, which definitely has potential, but needs more development. Good sound and graphics, great theme! Could really do with a few more rooms and a proper ending. This started off looking extremely promising, but as it got to the locker scene it began to appear rather more rushed. Still, I'd jump at the chance to destroy my old school any day, so it certainly echoed the right sentiments there!



Street Life Street Life

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Pre-Destination in the Extreme

A "viewer favorite", hmm? I must say I was rather disappointed with this game. Whilst it's all too easy to get caught up in the allure of topless girls and bleeding thugs, I think it would be wise to bear in mind that this is supposed to be a game and not a porno show. Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but to me the word "game" implies a certain amount of interactivity between the user and the simulation. This cannot exist in what is essentially a movie with few choices to make and a singular ending. I can see this creation has potential, but sadly it has not been realised in its current form. Given a bit more complexity, including alternative endings rather than one pre-determined course, this game could be pretty good... but as it stands, don't bother.



The Crazy Al Gore Game The Crazy Al Gore Game

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

Am I Missing Something?

This "game" has got to be made by a Republican, right? Why? Because it uses a poorly designed and executed computer simulation to draw attention to the fundamental flaws of the Democratic Presidential campaign. Either that or this dire piece of animation was a serious attempt at making an interactive game. I sincerely hope it was not the latter, since my idea of "interactivity" encompasses more than being able to move a sole graphic in a singular direction. If the creator of this piece is a Democrat, then I can only suggest he resign at once before he brings his party into disrepute...



The Suspicious Cop The Suspicious Cop

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

The best possible fun without a gun!

This is a very neat little simulation. The graphics are far better than those used in Gibson's "Customer Service" entry, and the sound is extremely effective and atmospheric. The game is supposed to teach you about "real life negotiation skills" and this is the only aspect I would query. People are not as predictable as computer simulations, and the number of choices available to the user is rather too limited to reflect this diversity. But don't take it too seriously and it's a great fun game which you'll probably find strangely addictive. And I'm sure your fingers would welcome a break from those 5000-clicks-per-second shoot 'em ups!